© 2019 by Stacey Dye

  • Stacey Dye

How 'Unpleasant' Emotions Are Ruining Your Life

Emotions are often too painful for people to feel and they organize their lives around not feeling them. They have orchestrated their entire lives in order not to confront themselves or anyone else for that matter.

Think of all the creative ways and the lengths people go to avoid feeling their feelings and/or confronting painful truths about themselves. There’s the obvious things like drinking, smoking, drug use (both recreational and pharmaceutical), and the less obvious like eating sugar and not drinking enough water, both of which help us to shut down our feelings.

We are limping through life when we do this. We are a slave to our ‘unpleasant’ emotions and we are not allowing in the full human experience. When we allow our feelings to run our lives, we are not able to fully embrace the magic of our lives.

We are not allowing the divine wisdom to flow through and guide us.

Unpleasant emotions are equally important as pleasant ones and we need to learn how to have them guide us rather than rule us.

We are in charge, not our emotions.

A great key to awareness is noticing your escape strategies.

When I really started to become aware of my feelings, I began to notice that I would reach for sugar. About 10 years ago, I was going through an emotional break up. I had just gotten of the phone with my Heilkunstler and she told me to go for a hike and get in touch with my feelings. I thought, yes! That sounds like a great idea. So I grabbed a cookie and went out the door.

Some other great triggers to awareness are physical tension and strong emotional responses.

When these occur, stop and ask yourself what is going on for you. Try and feel what is behind these indicators. Allow the feeling to fully come up. This can be a scary thing to do, but once you face it rather than try and avoid it, it will move through you very quickly.

When you go to your avoidance mechanisms for help, stop and ask yourself what’s behind that? When you want to reach for a cigarette or a glass of wine or even something sweet, use that as an indicator. Give yourself a minute to stop and tune in. You may still need that glass of wine to help you cope, but at least you’ve taken some time to acknowledge why you need that glass of wine in the first place.

Awareness is the first step to escaping the control your ‘unpleasant’ emotions have over you. Take some time to start practicing tuning in, and getting in touch with what these indicators are trying to tell you.